ER. Not a TV show.

       I work in the ER. It's what I do. Have done for 13 years (not including my clinical years). People see me here at work or in "real life" outside of work, and they assume that I am a nurse. I am never sure if I should be more offended that they never think I am a doctor. However I am neither. Never will be. I work in radiology (Where's the TV show on us people?? We're exciting too!). I started out doing xrays and catscans for little ole Brigham Hospital until I settled here some odd 10 years ago at LDS. I chose here mainly because no one thought I could do it. Of course I am always up for a challenge. Nowadays I just do CT and that is fine with me. It's what I prefer. Since I am sitting here at work, with work on my mind, I thought I would reminisce through some memories and lessons learned of what it's like to be the blacksheep of the hospital family, the imaging department.
       When I first came to LDS it was the truama center vortex of the valley. This was before the Death Star was built a few years ago, and trauma services transferred there. Having put in 6-7 years on the truama team I was willing to stay here and let it go somewhere else without me. At least for awhile. I can always go back to it :). I have always been of the opinion that radiology doesn't save lives. "I" certainly don't save lives. But we seem to be a valuable tool for all the life saving people out there who require us to help steer them in the right direction of say, oh I don't know, where to operate or on what for an example.
        I have learned many many lessons from being right in the center yet not really a part of life saving processes. All truamas pass through CT. They just do. It is mandatory I think. The MDs learn that in chapter 1 of how to be a doctor. So I have seen the many sides of human tragedy, and I thought it might be fun to write about some of them. (I learned the hard way that what happens at MY work does not make good dinner conversation for anyone else). That is why I love my CT family cause we can kick back, hang out, and discuss the smelly abscess fluid we pulled from a patient earlier that day while eating spaghetti. No big deal to us.
       Let me list some things I have learned. Then perhaps I can add to the list on another day when I think of more. Lesson one - distance and laughter are the only ways to get through this job. Just like any other medical profession. The person becomes the exam and you find humor in all things. There was the one patient who I was trying to scan that looked up at the face of the staunchiest, stuffed shirt, never a smile, doctor standing there and said "you look just like Doctor Mcdreamy" Now that's funny. We all laughed. He should have.
       Lesson two - Sometimes you wish you didn't have the sense of smell. Like the smell of blood strongly emanating from the poor victim on my table as I am trying to position his body properly, or the smell of burning flesh as the orthopedic surgeon sauters open the skin before he starts a hip replacement as I am sitting there with the C arm in surgery (this is from my xray days), or yes that smelly absess fluid I drain from patients with infection.
       Lesson three- How to properly commit suicide, because let me tell you if you do it wrong you really give yourself a reason to be dead afterwards. I have seen several people who try to shoot themselves in the head. Instead they just blow off their faces and not even hit the brain. You will still be alive without a face people, but its not pretty. I won't give anymore suicide examples because I don't want to give any ideas. You are all beautiful and have a lot to live for.
       Lesson four- If anyone is going to whine or cry or moan it will most likely be the 20 something male. When I start an IV, the person most likely to pass out will be the 20 something male with tattoo sleeves up both arms. Go figure. The toughest people ever?? Your grandma.
        Lesson five- when they show you those before and after pictures of meth users. They aren't lying. Trust me. Never ever ever do drugs. It can't possibly be worth what you will turn into.
        Lesson six - I don't care what makes you want to put any foreign object up your behind. That is not my business. However if you want to avoid the humiliating ER (and tyically surgery) trip then don't do it. Your body has a nice way of "sucking" things in beyond reach. And besides that makes my job difficult when i am trying to take pictures and you are audibly "buzzing" on my table. That goes for the front too men. Don't thread boondoggle up your urethra. This doesn't need an explanation.

Stay tuned for part two :)